Empty Submittable Queue and Social Anxiety

So my queue is empty… that hasn’t happened in years. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it just means I am taking a break from submitting which is good for me, but on the other hand…it means I am not writing or submitting and that makes me feel anxious.

I know it will be filled again soon enough, but still it’s weird not checking my queue to see if there’s anything in progress.

Speaking of feeling anxious, I think most of you know I teach English in Japan. I work for my city and we have meetings every few months where all the other people in my position meet with the people in charge of us at the Board of Education. There are about 90 of us and we come from all over the world but many are from the US, Canada and the UK.

Every time I have to go to these meetings, I feel stressed and anxious. I don’t think it’s social anxiety. If you’ve met me, you know I don’t really feel uncomfortable in most social situations BUT these meetings always make me feel like I am the dumb one and I never used to feel that way. Could be age. Could be hormones. Could be that most people who take this job have “look at me” syndrome and are in their 20s and think they know everything…which as I talk it out here, makes sense and over the years I always come to the same conclusion that it’s not me…but it doesn’t make my anxiety any less.

So that’s been my week. I hope yours has been going well. Sending light, love and creativity.